I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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