im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
