So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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