why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
