i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
