just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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