Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
