listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
