You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just had sex bonerless
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
my liver is dry heaving
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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