Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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