i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
