Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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