ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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