Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
