Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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