physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
