dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize