good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
