i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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