I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
