It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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