I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize