I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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