is your mom at the bar?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
