it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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