I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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