you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
