i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
