I got chris browned last night
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
