I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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