did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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