its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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