Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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