That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
