Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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