no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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