Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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