I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
