So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
