he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
