hotel room ftw
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
