Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
