i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
