Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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