I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
