I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
