would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
