I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
