how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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