so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
