Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
