u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can I color on your dick again?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
