i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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