how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
