so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sarcasm needs its own font
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
