I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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