well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
