i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
