i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
