if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
