I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
