Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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