He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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