if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
