Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
