just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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