i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm really busy with my period
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