I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
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Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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