Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
