Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
