Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
