Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
