yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
