names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
