why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
