If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
